As of today Zoe is back at birth weight! Now that we are back at the beginning in terms of Zoe's weight I though it was the perfect of time to tell my birth story. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to write about so I'm just going to wing it. Here it goes!
My dreams let me know what was to come.
I went into labor early on Saturday morning on the 19th of November. All of a sudden I started having discussions in my dreams that I was in early labor. Sure enough when I woke up that morning I was indeed in early labor. I knew from my many classes and talking to our Doula that early labor can be a long process. So we let the appropriate parties know that it had started and carried on with our day. Rob frantically wrote one of the many articles that he committed to for PopMatters while I took a nice long bath and deep conditioned my hair. We had lunch and as the contractions got more intense we took a walk outside since it was a beautiful clear fall day.
By the time the contractions were close together and harder to handle it was early evening. I had already talked Rob down from having to review baby CPR and gathering all supplies needed for an emergency do it yourself birth. Thankfully our Doula, Alissa, showed up soon after that and reassured us that we wouldn't need any of the skills Rob wanted to freshen up on. By 10 pm that night the contractions were close together and hard for me to manage. So we made the decision to head to the hospital in the hopes that I was at least 4 centimeters dilated and in active labor.
To the hospital!
Thank goodness Alissa was leading the way to our destination. I thanked her many times as I watched her aggressively (but safely) wind through West Seattle and speed through yellow lights. I knew Rob would not let her out of his sight and he would have driven a lot more cautiously if he was left to his own devices. I thought everything was going pretty well up to this point. Yes I had walked the equivalent of 10 miles in my living room to deal with the pain but based on the frequency of my contractions I thought I was well on my way in the labor process. So imagine my disappointment when I went into triage and they informed me that I was only 2 centimeters dilated. The nurse told me that I could try walking around for a couple of hours and see if my labor progressed. If it didn't I may need to go home and get some rest.
This was my moment of truth. Where I sat next to Rob at midnight and told him if this is just the beginning I don't know how I am going to give birth naturally as planned. The problem was none of the other options sounded good to me either. I was just exhausted and in pain and had been informed that this may be only the beginning, I could have another 24 hours before I give birth.
At that point I have never been so thankful that I was a former athlete with great experience of trusting my coaches to get me to take the next step when I can't see where to go. Alissa did 2 things for me that made the rest of the birthing experience completely managable: she explained to me how to better handle my pain and she gave me my first goal to reach. Alissa informed me that it appeared that I was fighting my contractions and as a result using a lot of energy and not letting my body do what it needed to do which was dilate my cervix. She told me to meet the next contraction and work with it, don't ignore or try to run with it. So I did. I sat and breathed through the next one, I even had a conversation with it (in my head) saying "let's do this thing I don't want to be in this place for another 24 hours. Secondly Alissa informed me that she thought that the reason that my contractions were on top of each other was because I was dehydrated. She gave me a cup of water that had to be the size of a 7-11 double big gulp and told me I needed to finish it before we went back to triage. If you know me, you know that I love goals so that water was finished by the time we went back to triage at 2 in the morning.
Excuse me, do you know Jamilah Walters?
When we got back to triage and I was dilated 3-4 centimeters and my contractions were a little further apart and more manageable meaning that I was officially in labor and the hospital would admit me. From then on I would do anything and everything that Alissa told me to do, she had my complete trust. I was still processing the good news when a new nurse popped in her head and asked me a question that I would hear a lot over the next 24 hours: "Do you know Jamilah Walters?" "Why yes I did," I said in between contractions, "we've been friends since the 8th grade and I know that she went into labor about 24 hours ago." The nurse then informed me that she delivered Jamilah's baby the previous afternoon and that Jamilah had told her all about me. Therefore the nurse had specifically requested me when she found out that I was here. So I was escorted by the same nurse who Jamilah had been with into the same room in which Jamilah had delivered in. These are the kind of circumstances that you couldn't make up if you tried. Meanwhile the contractions kept coming consistently. Rob setup the Bose dock that we don't leave home without and put our 6 hour labor playlist on repeat as I went deeper into labor and into myself. I got an IV to keep myself hydrated and Alissa moved me to different positions to cope with the pain every hour. Although I was aware of my surroundings I started to use less words and focused only on my body, my contractions and rest. I don't think I said a single word to my doctor or the day time nurse when she arrived (and asked if I knew Jamilah because she too had helped with her delivery). However I felt focused and in control. The time seemed to fly by for me. However, I think Rob and Alissa would say otherwise.
Transition and Pushing
Before I knew it I was in transition. Meaning I was in the most painful and intense part of labor (with the longest contractions that are closest together). This is when I told Rob and Alissa that if I asked for pain meds that they could ignore me because pushing was right around the corner. Thankfully it never came to that. I was so much in a zone that I didn't even think about the possibility of pain medication, it was just about how do I handle the current contraction? Of course it makes it all a little more manageable when Alissa drew me a bath, turned off the bathroom lights and put out candle-like lights around the tub. If I wasn't so checked out and in so much pain I would have even called atmosphere romantic which is saying a lot when you are in a hospital bathroom. In between contractions I was even able to laugh a bit when I heard this loud rhythmic noise coming from the other room. "Is that Rob snoring?" I asked. Yep, it sure was. At least one of us was able to get a little bit of rest.
Sooner than I would have expected the nurse informed me that I dilated and I could push if I wanted to. Getting out of the tub and onto the bed was a bit of a process but I made it. I knew that laying on my side or back was the least productive way to push but for the first few contractions I couldn't bring myself to do anything but lay there. Alissa once again was a good coach, she informed me of a better position but didn't make me switch to it. After a couple of contractions I was ready to move on to my knees with my hands and head resting on the top of the hospital bed. As soon as I was in that position everything happened faster than anyone expected.
You're almost there! But can you wait a few minutes?
By 8:30 am on November 20th I was actively pushing. It wasn't until then that my water broke (anyone who has been around me lately has heard me regurgitate the fact that your water breaks at the beginning of birth only 10% of the time-the media gets so many things about birth wrong). By 8:45 Zoe was crowning and ready to come out. Everyone was shocked at how quickly and efficiently I was pushing. Apparently they didn't realize how much I was ready to be done. They also didn't know that I tend to speed up when I can see the finish line. Well the doctors saw some merconium in my water so they wanted to have a special team aspirate her lungs when she was born. So here I am on all fours with Zoe crowning and all of a sudden the nurse says to me, don't push, just hold it if you can we are waiting for some people to arrive. I tried. Alissa coached me through some shallow breathing during one contraction. In the middle of the second contraction I just said "I can't" (which was the first time I said that phrase all night) and out came her head. I faintly heard someone say little pushes now as I took a breath and did one more large push and out came Zoe at 8:55am at whopping 8 pounds 9 ounces. After briefly taking Zoe away and making sure her lungs were clear the nurse handed Rob our daughter and he brought her to me and for the next hour we just stared at the beautiful person that we created.
Grilled Cheese please
When all the celebrating died down I realized that I was hungry. I asked the nurse for a grilled sandwich to which she laughed at me and said "really, that's what Jamilah ordered." What can I say, great minds think a like.
Although this no longer applies to us since we are out of the crazy first few weeks, I would recommend that anyone visiting a newborn to 
